Just some thoughts as the New Year approaches,

Things that I am terrible at:

• Opening envelopes.
• Remembering the word "prototype" when I want to use it in a sentence.
• Hearing.
• 
  

Things that scare me:

• Piles of hangers - they're all creepy and disorganized!
• Ducks, geese and turkeys.
• Elevators.
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Things that creep me out:

• Touching bananas, they're yummy, but I can't stand touching them.
• The smell of cold cardboard boxes, ick.
• 
  

I left open bullet points so that you all can fill in anything that you find overlooked, something that might be sad that it didn't make the cut.

I still need to figure out what to wear to the New Years Eve party, because as of right now it's just going to be my hot shoes and a mask. Although that would be readily accepted by the other partygoers, it might get a bit chilly. We are going to see Cats tonight and I am extremely excited. I also don't know what to wear to that. I am going to pull off some stylin' magic in the next 36 hours.

Praise Zeus that we know who the carver is! Don't worry Joey, I wont tell you. I wlil say though that last night's episode was the most stressful tv watching experience of my life. I survived though, aren't you proud of me?

Also, the club has a name. Strut.

Wow. Mucho love to everybody.

Dear Ashley (with whom I live):

I miss you. I am sad that I see you for approximately 1 hour a week. :( . I think that that will come up as a mad emoticon when I actually hit post, but it's supposed to be a sad face.

Love,
Sad Face
xoxo

The Land of Disney was great. Pictures to come. We rode the rides, ate the eats and had generally a grand time, except when Jakers needed to eat. Updated Space Mountain rocks your world. Sorry Jodi and Josh that I didn't call, but after 14 hours of running around in D Land, and having to leave for Phoenix at 4:00 a.m., all I was thinking about was sleep. We will catch each other soon!

Disneyland or bust! This should be fun, and I hope to return with stories. Stories that will be told after the 12 hours that I have to work on Saturday. Have fun not being in Disneyland everyone :)

The right gesture from the wrong one. I'm not sure how I feel about this yet.

I'm turning into an old lady. Ashley and I spent the evening after watching our picture stories in the recliners knitting. Meg taught me how to knit about a year ago, and that's about how long it's been since I have done it. It should be interesting to see how it turns out. I'm not going to say what I'm making yet, I'll wait and see what it turns out to be before I decide what it is. Also, the soundtrack to Love Actually is very good.

Who has a clean apartment? Oh, it's me.

I know, I'm lame.

Lots of weird high school reunion fun last night. Weird. Fun.

By popular demand, I am posting the "Arizona Barbies" bulletin that I saw on MySpace

Barbie Dolls
Mattel recently announced the release of Limited-Edition Barbie dolls for the Arizona market:

Scottsdale Barbie:
This princess Barbie is only sold at Scottsdale Fashion Center. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign lapdog named Honey, and a semi-custom dream house with a saguaro Cactus in front. Available with or without tummy tuck and facelift. Workaholic ex-husband Ken comes with squeeze-me Skipper and a Ferrari.

Chandler Barbie:
This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan and matching gym suit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone sold separately. Can swear in English or Spanish. Available at Target.

Apache Junction Barbie:
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, bowie knife, a 78 El Camino with dark tinted windows, and a meth-lab kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be bought with cash, preferably small bills, unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

Ahwatukee Barbie:
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or HummerH2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card set, and Country Club membership. Also available are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. Ahwatukee Barbie hasn't been affordable since the early 80's.

Mesa Barbie:
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a classic Metallica shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. Wants to major in NASCAR at MCC. She has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free. Available at Ross.

El Mirage Barbie:
This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own
high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Mesa Barbie's (discontinued) house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, strawberry lip-gloss, and a
see through halter-top. Comes with Barbie's dream doublewide trailer. Available at Wal-Mart. Cheap.

Sedona Barbie:
This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears leopard print spandex, and drinks cosmopolitans to new age music with friends at the lodge. She's into crystals. Comes with Percocet prescription and two alimony checks. Also cheap.

Phoenix Barbie:
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional
accessories include a G.E.D. and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79 Caddy where available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

Flagstaff Barbie:
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow." She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Flagstaff Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon,you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.

Gilbert Barbie:
Is pregnant, drives a new Ford Excursion and is perfect in every way. We don't know who Ken is because he's always away hunting or in Japan on business. Gilbert Barbie aspires to become Scottsdale Barbie. Not cheap, but still very naive.

Tucson Barbie:
Into basketball and marijuana. Dropped out of PCC. Does nothing but complain about Phoenix Barbie.

Guadalupe Barbie:
This Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired temporary plates and three babies in the back, without car seats. This is the only Barbie who is willing to do manual labor. Ken comes in a meat-packer's uniform and is missing three fingers on his left hand. Green cards are not yet available for Guadalupe Barbie or Ken. Available at Food City.

Van Buren Barbie/Ken:
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the "snap-on" parts.

Sun City Barbie/Ken:
These dolls are going fast! Well, what we mean is they're old and don't have much time left. Both write checks for everything or pay in change, and can provide hours of endless repetitive conversation about "The good ol' days." Drives a golf cart, signals right to turn left. Can be seen in Barbie Grocery Store (sold separately) arguing over prices. Available at the doctor's office.

I'm bored. And not just at the current moment, just in general. So, I think that it is time to polish up the old resume and start looking for ways to use my degree as more than a coaster. We'll see how this turns out. Sidenote: I heart Ash, a lot.

Apparently upper respiratory infections can turn into corneal infections in the eye. That sucks. Just when you think that you're getting better, bam! Eyes are infected! Suck on that!

So I got my license plate today, that's pretty exciting.

Rock climbing was super fun. I tagged along with Justin and his friends on a trip to Joshua Tree National Park. I will post pictures soon. I climbed my first wall, and then proceeded to cry almost the entire way back down because I had to go backwards and balance my weight in a really scary way. For a few moments, I contemplated living on the top of that rock for a while. It would have been a good life, nothing is like life at the top of a rock in a beautiful national park.

So, I'm pretty sure that I'm going to do this. I'm not really positive that I can afford it, but I think that it's worth the try. Mom's going to flip!

Cosmos andNip/Tuck. How could this night go wrong?

Dear everyone who was a part of last night:

Thanks. I had a great time.

So last night I made my first grilled cheeses ever. Not the first that I have eaten, but the first that I have made. Ashley and Steph taught me how, and well, the third one I made was the best. I know it sounds weird that I can have survived this many years loving grilled cheeses and not know how to make them, but my dad loves to cook, so he always made them for my brother and I. I felt like Lucille Ball though, standing in the kitchen with curlers in my hair, trying to tend a pot of tomato soup at the same time as I burnt a grilled cheese. It was funny.

Today is Tuesday.

Cable will not be upgraded until tomorrow, and I might miss Nip/Tuck, this will be a tragedy of great proportions.

So in 7 days I will have officially survived this planet for 252 months. I'm super pumped.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOSH! And in two more days, HAPPY BIRTHDAY OTHER JOSH!

So Ashley's graet aunt makes this really yummy apple pie drink thing. It tastes like apple pie and about 2/3 of the way through it, I'm pretty toasty. Life is good.

Also, there is a large pink flamingo in our living room. Not that I have seen any other colored flamingos, but it is amusing.

So I don't think that I am meant to be domestic.

My father has been out of town for almost two weeks now. The house has been cleaner in that time than it ever has. Today was my day off. I decided that I'd mow the lawn and then come inside and dust and vacuum the whole house, considering that I have been at the Fortress all weekend and the dogs got stir-crazy.

First part of the plan, I go outside and start to mow the lawn. It is going rather successfully, except the mower seems to be losing steam on the thicker patches of grass, but that makes sense. And then, all of the sudden, in the middle of the lawn it just stops working. And then it starts smoking.

I come inside, and move all of the dog toys off of the ground so that I can vacuum. It's coming along well, I've finished two complete rooms, am working on the hallway. And then, all of the sudden, in the middle of the hall, it just stops working. WTF? So I empty out the filter and all, thinking that that could be the problem. Nope.

So now I have a lawn mower that doesn't work sitting in the middle of my backyard and a vacuum cleaner that doesn't work sitting in the middle of the hall. I'm afraid that I'll be in the middle of this post and my computer will stop working and start smoking everywhere. Maybe it will catch on fire. That would be kind of cool to watch, at least until I realized that I hadn't saved my post yet, and that my computer was on fire.

Through an interesting series of events, I am not moving in with my mother. Huzzah! Ashley and I will be living in one of my mother's friend's apartments while she undergoes chemo and radiation therapy in Utah. It is a mutually beneficial situation. My mom was talking about my grandfather today, and I realized that I know practically nothing about him. He passed away before I was alive, and it was my understanding that he died of emphysema or some other smoking related disease. Apparently he died of cancer. It started in his lungs, but when it was found, it had already spread everywhere, his brains, his bones, etc. I also thought that he was a heavy smoker until he died, but also apparently he quit shortly after my mother was born. I don't know really where I developed all these stories about him, maybe my grandmother, who knows? It was just weird to see how off they were.

I used to hate tomatoes, you know, when I was little. I even hated tomato by-products - salsa, pizza sauce. I always loved ketchup though, I couldn't figure out why, and it drove my mother crazy. Then one day I'm at this diner, and I order some turkey-something sandwich. I was tired and hungry and didn't think twice before I was halfway through my sandwich - it was so good - they must have some secret ingredient that I'd never heard of, I thought. So I pull back the top of my sourdough roll and what do I see? The same little red slices that have haunted my finicky eating my whole life. It was amazing, it was like my own personal tomato revelation.

This isn't a true story, but a monologue that I wrote a couple of years ago for no particular reason that I came across the other day. This monologue does not reflect the opinions of the author. I have yet to have a tomato revelation. It was inspired by a conversation, yeah, you remember the one.

On another note, it is a beautiful night. Perfect for reading and writing on the patio. Also, I painted tonight. I haven't done that since I was probably 9 and I tried to paint a whale. It looked more like an abstract dream-like cow.