a note to qualm your worries. a friend of mine, unprompted, told me today that i looked "like an ASU girl". whew. glad to have that burden off my back.

i built a bookshelf/desk thing yesterday. from scratch. mainly because when i run out of room on the bookshelves, i don't want to worry about finding a bookshelf that matches the full one. but i had fun. by myself, staining and cutting and building. it was good time to contemplate.

tuesday is my last day. i wouldn't be surprised if i have already mentioned that. but i am excited. but i am going to be bored a lot. oh well, i guess i'll have to "read", or something like that.

well, i'm off to who knows where. i'll see y'all on domingo (that's Sunday for the monlinguals among us). ugh, just got the lecture from my mother, [ sigh ] parents.

word.

i like the polar ice cap idea nick, i've got a guy on it.

a friend called me last night, lots of times, as Mr. Moore can atest for. to? oh well, back to the point. i told him that i would be there for him if he needed to talk, but i'm nervous that he is going to tell me something that i don't want the responsibility of knowing. again torn. between my word and my nervousness.

either today or tuesday will be my last day at "the Dirty Bird". that is uber-awesome. (that's for you jesse!) but i don't think that i would have had the metaphoric balls to do this without everyone who is here today, you all made it possible, and should pat yourselves on the back. but not while eating, you might cause yourself to choke. in all seriousness though, i think that previously, when i wanted to leave it wasn't the work or anything that kept me there. it was the insecurity of having a real group of friends outside of the fake ones at work. a lot of my "friends" at work will never call me, and i sure as hell wont call them. it will be left to the awkward hello's when i go in to visit the real friends, who i will actually talk to next week, month, etc.

to make a long story less long than it is shaping up to be, thanks guys. you've helped me care less about things that i don't need to. and you've helped me see that, in reference to a lot of things, i am just too goddam nice. i'm glad that none of you have really seen the bitch that red robin brings out in me, you don't deserve it. except maybe joey.

topo.

i want to go.

i'm not sure where yet, but i just want to go. obviously it's not the destination, but the journey that i desire.

Hot or Not?
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torn.

So the other day I happen to overhear a few girls talking about another gal they know, who just transferred to ASU. And one of these girls says, "I don't know, like, she's just not very ASU. You know how you can, like, look at girls and they just are like, ASU girls or not?" This got me thinking. Am I ASU? Would she be taken aback to find out that I attend ASU, but in fact I'm not "very ASU"? Girls like this make me sad for womankind. Like,seriously.

"One should never allow chaos to develop in order to avoid going to war."
-Machiavelli, The Prince

much cooler in spanish~

"Si al principio no muestras como eres, If from the start you don't show how you are
no podrias hacerlo cuando tu quiseres." You will not be able to when you want to.
-Don Juan Manuel, Lo que sucedio a un mozo que caso con una mujer de mal caracter

"Si solo en esta vida esperamos en Cristo, somos los mas miserables de los hombres todos."
If we only believe/hope in Christ in this life, we are the most miserable among man.
-San Pablo, Corinitios XV 19

it has been quite an eventful day, or rather i should put it that this week has so far been filled with events that i don't have a tendency to see on a regular basis.

one of the biggest ones is that i quit my job. over three years, and i'm down to just weeks left. it is a strange feeling, but it is something that i need to so. for sanity. or at least for less insanity.

now, not to sound bitter or anything, but the array of valentine's day merchandise is starting to get on my nerves. don't get me wrong, i love the day, the concept. i love (sorry for the blatant usage) the idea of love. but i haven't exactly had a track record for exciting valentine's days, so friends beware, you will be loved on the fourteenth of february, and there isn't a damn thing that you can do about it. ha! i win.

for anyone who did not attend mountain pointe and have mr. barnes as a teacher, he was quite a smart man. he talked about a concept that he calls "academic learned helplessness" in which the instigator of the situation is helpless to the situation. not because they are incapable or retarded, but they have, by practice, learned that being helpless bodes best for accomplishing what they want/need. anyway, it irritates me. if people spent half the time that they spend complaining about a problem fixing that problem, they would do a lot more, and piss me off a lot less.

end rant ...,

wait for it ...,

wait for it ...,

calm down you impatient bastard ...,

now.

a fucking week?

i suck.