Have you ever had someone who you couldn't say no to? They just have this charm. Something about them. And then one day, you can. It is an amazing, empowering feeling.
Wednesday, December 15
Monday, December 13
I made a Quiz for y'all to see how well you really know me. We'll see how you do...
CLICK on the link below or PASTE it into your browser.http://www.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz.php?quizname=041213120624-942011
CLICK on the link below or PASTE it into your browser.http://www.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz.php?quizname=041213120624-942011
Because of the amount of writing that I have had to due for final projects, I have recently realized that I am much more verbose than I thought I was. Three times in the past week I have been writing, and paused because I used a word that I did not know that I knew. I the first instance, I was writing an essay for a scholarship contest and I found myself using the word "efficacy." Not anything too fancy, but I didn't know that I really knew what the word meant. So I referred to our good buddy dictionary.com, and come to see it, I used it properly. This also happened twice tonight. Apparently I can learn vocabulary by osmosis.
I'm going to sleep with a dictionary under my pillow.
I'm going to sleep with a dictionary under my pillow.
Friday, December 10
Was clearing some space on the good ol' hard drive and found a file of quotes that I was saving for a rainy day. Well, it's sunny out, but I'll treat you to these anyway.
It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies:The Japanese eat relatively little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.The Japanese drink relatively little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.The Italians drink generous amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and other fatty foods and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
"Bush's foreign policy is policy like Madison Square Garden is a garden..." -Anon
"Have no fear of perfection--you'll never reach it." - Salvador Dali
"I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships." - Gilda Radner
"Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography." - Paul Rodriguez
It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies:The Japanese eat relatively little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.The Japanese drink relatively little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.The Italians drink generous amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and other fatty foods and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
"Bush's foreign policy is policy like Madison Square Garden is a garden..." -Anon
"Have no fear of perfection--you'll never reach it." - Salvador Dali
"I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships." - Gilda Radner
"Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography." - Paul Rodriguez
Monday, December 6
Was looking around on the "Internet" and came across an interesting flash animation.
Be afraid...
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/mikomiko.php
...be very afraid.
Be afraid...
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/mikomiko.php
...be very afraid.
Saturday, November 20
Tuesday, November 16
Monday, November 15
Today was interesting. For the first time, I cried over someone who I didn't even know, and it wasn't in a movie. At least not in the conventional sense.
I am in a media ethics course, and we did group projects and presentations. We did case studies in which we identified an ethical dilemma in the media, and presented the problem and discussed it using ethical models. Our group, for example, chose the Dan Rather/CBS/Bush Documents incident. Another group chose what happened at SABC (South African Broadcasting Channel).
I'm sure that you all read or heard about the man, Eugene Armstrong, who was beheaded by insurgents, and his beheading was taped and put online. SABC received the link, and broadcast the beheading on their nightly news show. The posted a disclaimer before showing the 2 minute long video with full sound. They received, for good reason, numerous complaints and fines.
In order for the class to fully understand the case, the group who presented it chose to show the video. They posted a disclaimer and told us all what we would see if we chose to stay in the room. I decided to stay. This video was the most horrific thing that I have ever seen. I really cannot put it into words.
In my short 20 years, I have been fortunate enough to not have had to deal with much death in my life. My grandmother, my best friend's grandmother, my friend's dad, my favorite teacher and a classmate are the only people who I have ever known who have died. And today, in my class, I watched this poor man's moment of death.
The visuals were barbaric and disgusting, but I could continue to watch them. The worst part was the sound. I had to cover my ears because I could not bare to hear this man suffer the way he did. It was horrible.
To prove to you how much it disturbed me, I couldn't talk for the rest of class. And if you know me, and my tendency to be chatty, that means a lot. This video is just floating around on the internet, and being played on the nightly news.
I think that today may have been the first time that I truly realized that there are awful people in this world. There are people filled with hate and passion, and they take action. September 11th, 2001 was a tragedy. The day we lost the shuttle Columbus was sad. But this goes beyond and below human decency and dignity. It is sickening to think of.
I am in a media ethics course, and we did group projects and presentations. We did case studies in which we identified an ethical dilemma in the media, and presented the problem and discussed it using ethical models. Our group, for example, chose the Dan Rather/CBS/Bush Documents incident. Another group chose what happened at SABC (South African Broadcasting Channel).
I'm sure that you all read or heard about the man, Eugene Armstrong, who was beheaded by insurgents, and his beheading was taped and put online. SABC received the link, and broadcast the beheading on their nightly news show. The posted a disclaimer before showing the 2 minute long video with full sound. They received, for good reason, numerous complaints and fines.
In order for the class to fully understand the case, the group who presented it chose to show the video. They posted a disclaimer and told us all what we would see if we chose to stay in the room. I decided to stay. This video was the most horrific thing that I have ever seen. I really cannot put it into words.
In my short 20 years, I have been fortunate enough to not have had to deal with much death in my life. My grandmother, my best friend's grandmother, my friend's dad, my favorite teacher and a classmate are the only people who I have ever known who have died. And today, in my class, I watched this poor man's moment of death.
The visuals were barbaric and disgusting, but I could continue to watch them. The worst part was the sound. I had to cover my ears because I could not bare to hear this man suffer the way he did. It was horrible.
To prove to you how much it disturbed me, I couldn't talk for the rest of class. And if you know me, and my tendency to be chatty, that means a lot. This video is just floating around on the internet, and being played on the nightly news.
I think that today may have been the first time that I truly realized that there are awful people in this world. There are people filled with hate and passion, and they take action. September 11th, 2001 was a tragedy. The day we lost the shuttle Columbus was sad. But this goes beyond and below human decency and dignity. It is sickening to think of.
Sunday, November 14
Sunday, November 7
I don't like George W. Bush. Those of you who have had a conversation with me know this. But I did hear a quote on the radio from someone, they didn't say the name, that really stuck in my head.
I will support the president, even if I didn't vote for him. I will criticize the president, even if I did.
So I will support Bush, to an extent. But those of you who voted for him, please, PLEASE, criticize him when it is appropriate. All I want is accountability. And a new president. But you can't have everything, eh?
I will support the president, even if I didn't vote for him. I will criticize the president, even if I did.
So I will support Bush, to an extent. But those of you who voted for him, please, PLEASE, criticize him when it is appropriate. All I want is accountability. And a new president. But you can't have everything, eh?
Tuesday, November 2
Voting is like Disneyland...
I waited three hours today to get INSIDE the building in which I MIGHT have voted. Let me explain.
I went to the First Congressional Church of Tempe, or something like that, I don't really know the name of it. I went there because that is where the Maricopa Recorder said to go. Makes sense right? You'd think so. So I stood in line with all of the others, and I don't think that there was anyone over 25 years old among us. Everyone was chatting and being generally friendly, it was like a college party without the booze. Volunteers were out there handing out doughnuts and chips and soda and water. It was really nice. But I was still really hungry, so I ordered a pizza from Papa John's and when it was delivered shared with my fellow electors.
Finally, we make it inside the building. And continued to wait there. We continued with our chatting and laughing and having a generally jolly time. And then this guy came up, put his hand on my back and said "You guys are going to have to keep it down or take it outside" (in a very nasty tone). There are a few things wrong with this, can you find them?
There are two. First of all, we weren't being loud, and I am not aware of laughing being against the law. And two, he TOUCHED me. I don't like that. I don't like when people who I don't know and aren't young hot guys touch me. It's gross. And made me feel extremely uncomfortable and ewwww!
Then it's my turn to sign in. I hand over my ID and the guys looks through his lists. He couldn't find me. I told him that I was directed to this poll by the Maricopa Recorder, and I registered to vote when I lived in Tempe. His response was, "First of all, you aren't in the right precinct, and second of all, you don't even live in Tempe anymore" (in a very nasty tone). Maybe you're seeing a trend. You should be. I even heard the people who were behind me in line and saw me get mad at touchy-guy saying stuff about how mad I was getting, and that I was gonna blow up at these assholes. But I didn't. Ass #2 proceeded to tell me about a provisional ballot that I was going to be given, but depending on the circumstances, my vote might not count. I was pissed.
Happy first fucking voting day to me!
The funniest part is that I still got my "I voted today" sticker. I noted that mine really should more accurately say "I might have voted today."
I waited three hours today to get INSIDE the building in which I MIGHT have voted. Let me explain.
I went to the First Congressional Church of Tempe, or something like that, I don't really know the name of it. I went there because that is where the Maricopa Recorder said to go. Makes sense right? You'd think so. So I stood in line with all of the others, and I don't think that there was anyone over 25 years old among us. Everyone was chatting and being generally friendly, it was like a college party without the booze. Volunteers were out there handing out doughnuts and chips and soda and water. It was really nice. But I was still really hungry, so I ordered a pizza from Papa John's and when it was delivered shared with my fellow electors.
Finally, we make it inside the building. And continued to wait there. We continued with our chatting and laughing and having a generally jolly time. And then this guy came up, put his hand on my back and said "You guys are going to have to keep it down or take it outside" (in a very nasty tone). There are a few things wrong with this, can you find them?
There are two. First of all, we weren't being loud, and I am not aware of laughing being against the law. And two, he TOUCHED me. I don't like that. I don't like when people who I don't know and aren't young hot guys touch me. It's gross. And made me feel extremely uncomfortable and ewwww!
Then it's my turn to sign in. I hand over my ID and the guys looks through his lists. He couldn't find me. I told him that I was directed to this poll by the Maricopa Recorder, and I registered to vote when I lived in Tempe. His response was, "First of all, you aren't in the right precinct, and second of all, you don't even live in Tempe anymore" (in a very nasty tone). Maybe you're seeing a trend. You should be. I even heard the people who were behind me in line and saw me get mad at touchy-guy saying stuff about how mad I was getting, and that I was gonna blow up at these assholes. But I didn't. Ass #2 proceeded to tell me about a provisional ballot that I was going to be given, but depending on the circumstances, my vote might not count. I was pissed.
Happy first fucking voting day to me!
The funniest part is that I still got my "I voted today" sticker. I noted that mine really should more accurately say "I might have voted today."
Friday, October 29
Thursday, October 28
Sweet!
You are StrongBad. You hate everyone, especially
HomeStar. Your e-mails and prank calls are
hilarious. You're my favorite character. You
try to be evil, but sorry, being shirtless with
boxing gloves just isn't scary. Don't worry
what everone else thinks because hey, they are
all "crap for brains".
There would be a picture but it wont work because it is a piece of turd.
You are StrongBad. You hate everyone, especially
HomeStar. Your e-mails and prank calls are
hilarious. You're my favorite character. You
try to be evil, but sorry, being shirtless with
boxing gloves just isn't scary. Don't worry
what everone else thinks because hey, they are
all "crap for brains".
There would be a picture but it wont work because it is a piece of turd.
Tuesday, October 26
Football is the political Ouija Board.
Apparently in the case of the last 15 elections, the Redskins have been a predictor. If the Redskins have won the Sunday before the election, so has the incumbent candidate. If they have lost, so has he. So this is the first and last time I'll ever say this as a Bears fan, GO PACKERS!!!
Apparently in the case of the last 15 elections, the Redskins have been a predictor. If the Redskins have won the Sunday before the election, so has the incumbent candidate. If they have lost, so has he. So this is the first and last time I'll ever say this as a Bears fan, GO PACKERS!!!
Wednesday, October 20
Sunday, October 17
I feel old.
In less than two weeks, I will bid farewell to the teenage years.
But that's not what I mean. My body feels old. I have been fairly active lately, getting in as much volleyball, softball and the gym as I can.
But I am now feeling:
Tendonitis in knees and ankles (old softball injury that flares up every once in a while)
Shin splints
A bruised shin bone (from that guy at volleyball a few weeks ago)
A pained tail-bone (from a TERRIBLE slide in softball last week)
A sore wrist (from volleyball?)
I'm tired and in pain. And I haven't even started my 20's yet. At this rate, I'm scared of my 30's and 40's, I might be held together with duct tape. Although, ... that might not be too bad...
In less than two weeks, I will bid farewell to the teenage years.
But that's not what I mean. My body feels old. I have been fairly active lately, getting in as much volleyball, softball and the gym as I can.
But I am now feeling:
Tendonitis in knees and ankles (old softball injury that flares up every once in a while)
Shin splints
A bruised shin bone (from that guy at volleyball a few weeks ago)
A pained tail-bone (from a TERRIBLE slide in softball last week)
A sore wrist (from volleyball?)
I'm tired and in pain. And I haven't even started my 20's yet. At this rate, I'm scared of my 30's and 40's, I might be held together with duct tape. Although, ... that might not be too bad...
Wednesday, October 13
So tonight was the big debate. The debate which I did not watch because I working, ironically enough some of that working was on the debate. Well, not exactly the debate, but I was helping out ABC News and ABSAT (a satellite service of ABC) for the past few days. I really didn't do much of anything, but it was an interesting experience, and I met a lot of really nice people. I saw lots of people too. I saw Sean Hannity walk by and wasn't sure if I wanted to challenge him intellectually, bring up Joey's challenge or just cut to the chase and punch him in the gut if I got a chance. But then I just watched as he walked by. I also saw Mr. Colmes, he is frightening looking. Seriously, it was scary. It was surreal, everyone there, the politicians, the media, the protesters, the Secret Service, the President, me. Very strange. And I realized something today, as I thought about how my week has gone. Essentially I have been working three jobs - Red Robin, ABC (although not getting paid), and I started my new job at Firebird's. I also have studied and done homework, even though I haven't had class at all so far this week. That is entirely a lot of stuff in a schedule. But I have the opportunity to make that work. And it might. I think that I might be able to pull off two jobs and 21 credit hours. I might be insane in a few months, but hey, isn't that what youth is for?
Sunday, October 10
This post is in response to recent clamor on http://poopshute.blogspot.com (Joey's blog).
A little late to hop into this one, but I wanted to make a few comments, as a neutral party. First of all, I read the post and did not find it aimed at anyone specifically, until names were brought up. Obviously I haven't been around for recent political discussions, maybe that was the Rosetta Stone that I was missing to consider the post an attack.
Voting is a right, but also a privilege.
This election will be my first vote, I'm super-pumped about it. I believe in it. Ed is right, the system isn't completely legit, but it is the one in which we live. So I will vote. I don't like Bush, I don't know if I even like Kerry. I think that some people look at the whole thing in too simple of terms. Vote or not vote, Bush or Kerry, etc. You can choose to "throw your vote away" as some may call it by voting for Nader or a write in. Or you can literally throw your vote away by not using it.
That is the choice that some are posed with. If you don't like the candidates, then waste your vote. It's like someone has given you a million dollars. You can waste it on candy and movies and other shit or you can throw it in a trash can.
But don't you think you would like to waste it on something?
A little late to hop into this one, but I wanted to make a few comments, as a neutral party. First of all, I read the post and did not find it aimed at anyone specifically, until names were brought up. Obviously I haven't been around for recent political discussions, maybe that was the Rosetta Stone that I was missing to consider the post an attack.
Voting is a right, but also a privilege.
This election will be my first vote, I'm super-pumped about it. I believe in it. Ed is right, the system isn't completely legit, but it is the one in which we live. So I will vote. I don't like Bush, I don't know if I even like Kerry. I think that some people look at the whole thing in too simple of terms. Vote or not vote, Bush or Kerry, etc. You can choose to "throw your vote away" as some may call it by voting for Nader or a write in. Or you can literally throw your vote away by not using it.
That is the choice that some are posed with. If you don't like the candidates, then waste your vote. It's like someone has given you a million dollars. You can waste it on candy and movies and other shit or you can throw it in a trash can.
But don't you think you would like to waste it on something?
Wednesday, October 6
I'm am now almost positive that I will be staying in school longer than December 2004. Don't hold me to that, but I'm pretty sure. I have applied to an exchange program to Chile. The only thing that is holding me back from being sure that I got it is the fact that it is run through the College of Business, and they have to approve for me to go and "represent them" or something like that, due to the fact that Journalism and Mass Communication does not fall under the general business category. I should find out within the next few days.
What I also will find out tomorrow is if I got a job that I auditioned for. Fox Sports Net held auditions last week for the Campus Correspondent position for a portion of their programming called "SunDevil Insider." I went, the audition went really well and whether I get it or not, I'm happy about the experience. But I still want it.
So, in summary, tomorrow I will find out if I am going to be a correspondent for Fox Sports Net as well as if I will be able to go to Chile next semester. I hope that both don't happen. Because then I will have to make a decision. Boo.
Well, that's the end of today's discussion, next topic, conflicts of interest(nice transition, eh?). See you all then!
What I also will find out tomorrow is if I got a job that I auditioned for. Fox Sports Net held auditions last week for the Campus Correspondent position for a portion of their programming called "SunDevil Insider." I went, the audition went really well and whether I get it or not, I'm happy about the experience. But I still want it.
So, in summary, tomorrow I will find out if I am going to be a correspondent for Fox Sports Net as well as if I will be able to go to Chile next semester. I hope that both don't happen. Because then I will have to make a decision. Boo.
Well, that's the end of today's discussion, next topic, conflicts of interest(nice transition, eh?). See you all then!
Thursday, September 30
Oy! Lots of things to talk about. First of all, I am really enjoying school this semester. And it is strange, I am getting good grades on all of my assignments. I have never gotten a 100% on a writing assignment, and I got 2 in one week! I am having a lot of fun, and that is mainly the reason that I think that I am pretty much decided on staying in school a little longer before I graduate. Also, I am applying to an exchange program that would put me studying in Chile for a semester - sweet. It's like the whole college experience is coming together for me in the "last" semester.
And I must really like my classes, because I have been keeping up on my homework! I have a book review that I have to do, it isn't due for a month, and I have already picked out my book, started reading it and started finding other sources to support my point.
What the fuck is going on here?
I am glad to hear that Bush got annihilated in the debate today. I unfortunately was in class and missed it, but I am anxious to read all about it tomorrow. God I hope he doesn't win the election, or not win the election again but retain the presidency. Seriously. He is not the dumbass that everyone makes him out to be. He's actually quite intelligent- no one gets through Harvard and up through the ranks of the Republican Party without some smarts. Even if your daddy is George H.W. Bush. He likes to be underestimated. He does, even he himself has said so. I don't want to see his face anymore. I don't want to hear his voice anymore. I don't want to hear about him being a dumbass anymore. I want him to go away. He can spend the rest of his life at the damn ranch in Texas for all I care. I just want him to go away, and rest in peace in the history books. If you ever get a chance to listen to what David Cross has to say about it, I suggest that you do (Shut Up You Fucking Baby). Funny man that David Cross. And read Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them. Due to my scholastic efforts of late, I haven't finished it yet, but I'm getting there, and enjoying it the whole way.
Ok, I'm going to go read now, and then fall asleep 5 minutes later because I'm sick. Good night.
P.S.
It's really cool that Hayden Library is now open 24/7 Monday through Friday. All you have to do is be a student, staff or faculty member, and show I.D. between 12:01 and 7:00 a.m. Bitchin'!
And I must really like my classes, because I have been keeping up on my homework! I have a book review that I have to do, it isn't due for a month, and I have already picked out my book, started reading it and started finding other sources to support my point.
What the fuck is going on here?
I am glad to hear that Bush got annihilated in the debate today. I unfortunately was in class and missed it, but I am anxious to read all about it tomorrow. God I hope he doesn't win the election, or not win the election again but retain the presidency. Seriously. He is not the dumbass that everyone makes him out to be. He's actually quite intelligent- no one gets through Harvard and up through the ranks of the Republican Party without some smarts. Even if your daddy is George H.W. Bush. He likes to be underestimated. He does, even he himself has said so. I don't want to see his face anymore. I don't want to hear his voice anymore. I don't want to hear about him being a dumbass anymore. I want him to go away. He can spend the rest of his life at the damn ranch in Texas for all I care. I just want him to go away, and rest in peace in the history books. If you ever get a chance to listen to what David Cross has to say about it, I suggest that you do (Shut Up You Fucking Baby). Funny man that David Cross. And read Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them. Due to my scholastic efforts of late, I haven't finished it yet, but I'm getting there, and enjoying it the whole way.
Ok, I'm going to go read now, and then fall asleep 5 minutes later because I'm sick. Good night.
P.S.
It's really cool that Hayden Library is now open 24/7 Monday through Friday. All you have to do is be a student, staff or faculty member, and show I.D. between 12:01 and 7:00 a.m. Bitchin'!
Wednesday, September 22
Tuesday, September 21
Finally. After all of my complaining about wanting to see it, and no one wanting to go with me-either because they thought it looked stupid or they had already seen it- I rented and watched Mean Girls. It wasn't very good, but I liked it. All of this waiting hyped it up a little, but still, I enjoyed it. I am going to go continue reading Lies now, so peace out bitches!
Monday, September 20
Two posts in as many days??? Watch out world, because hell is about to freeze over.
Because my body doesn't like me, I couldn't sleep last night. I was up talking to people online for a while, when at about 1:00 a.m. I decided that I could be more productive and go to the gym, which I did. Surprisingly enough, since I joined Gold's Gym, I have been very good about going. I suppose that the fact that I enjoy working out helps, but it's just weird. I've never been disciplined about it before. Go me! The only err in my workout ways so far is that I only really like to go late at night. First of all, there are WAY less people there, and usually not a soul in the special room made for us ladies. And my body just seems to respond better to going at night. The problem that this presents should be obvious...
Ok, ok, I'll tell you. Working out increases energy levels. I don't know the chemistry of it, but it's a proven fact. So when I get home from the gym between two and three a.m., with an increased level of energy, it doesn't really bode well for going to school/work the next morning. And it certainly doesn't give me enough energy to read my textbooks. Although yesterday I did use this extra time before bed created by my workout for a productive purpose. In no affiliation with Joey's post about it, I started reading Al Franken's latest book a few days ago. So I thought that I would continue last night. So far it is excellent. The research and the writing are great, if you like brash sarcasm that doesn't purport to care who it pleases, which I certainly do. I don't feel like I have read enough of it to do a sufficient high school book review for you, but I shall, in the coming days when I have finished the book. I hope to finish it by tomorrow night, which should be a realizable goal, it is a very easy read. But I suggest that you all pick it up and read it, we can be like a book club. Instead of Oprah's Book Club, we can be the Ninja Gypsy Book Klan (yeah, klan with a "k" for emphasis). I like it. A sign-up sheet will be on the door upon your exit, or you can just leave a comment. We will be the greatest book klan ever!!!!
Because my body doesn't like me, I couldn't sleep last night. I was up talking to people online for a while, when at about 1:00 a.m. I decided that I could be more productive and go to the gym, which I did. Surprisingly enough, since I joined Gold's Gym, I have been very good about going. I suppose that the fact that I enjoy working out helps, but it's just weird. I've never been disciplined about it before. Go me! The only err in my workout ways so far is that I only really like to go late at night. First of all, there are WAY less people there, and usually not a soul in the special room made for us ladies. And my body just seems to respond better to going at night. The problem that this presents should be obvious...
Ok, ok, I'll tell you. Working out increases energy levels. I don't know the chemistry of it, but it's a proven fact. So when I get home from the gym between two and three a.m., with an increased level of energy, it doesn't really bode well for going to school/work the next morning. And it certainly doesn't give me enough energy to read my textbooks. Although yesterday I did use this extra time before bed created by my workout for a productive purpose. In no affiliation with Joey's post about it, I started reading Al Franken's latest book a few days ago. So I thought that I would continue last night. So far it is excellent. The research and the writing are great, if you like brash sarcasm that doesn't purport to care who it pleases, which I certainly do. I don't feel like I have read enough of it to do a sufficient high school book review for you, but I shall, in the coming days when I have finished the book. I hope to finish it by tomorrow night, which should be a realizable goal, it is a very easy read. But I suggest that you all pick it up and read it, we can be like a book club. Instead of Oprah's Book Club, we can be the Ninja Gypsy Book Klan (yeah, klan with a "k" for emphasis). I like it. A sign-up sheet will be on the door upon your exit, or you can just leave a comment. We will be the greatest book klan ever!!!!
Sunday, September 19
I think that I have written more about how I don't write than any other topic. But it seems more relevant this time.
I am taking a class called Writing for Public Relations. It is a lab format, so in it we are given a writing assignment, write it, and turn it in. A very simple process I would and do say. But apparently, I am better than I thought I was at it. On Wednesday in this class, after the assigning of the assignment, my professor came over to me and told me that in the next few assignments she wants me to "really branch out, and have fun" with them. Her reasoning is that she thinks that I am a very talented writer, and can take the assignments further. Later I raised my hand because in one of the assignments that she had given back, because she had underlined "was established" and I was pretty sure that it wasn't the name of a book, so I was confused. She came over, and informed that it was passive voice, not really appropriate for the "fact sheet" that it was in. She then informed me that it wasn't a big deal, but because of my new found talent she has decided to grade me harder to help me(to help my writing, not my grade). And even later in the class, she came back to me and asked, "Do you read a lot?" I wasn't sure if she was referring to the textbook that I am supposed to be reading and am not, or if she wanted to know if in general I am literate and occasionally like to indulge myself in my reading abilities as to not squander them. But the point of her question was if I enjoy reading on the side, and because I do, and told her this, she listed off a few authors and books that she wanted me to skim, again in attempt to help my talent.
Now to the point of this whole story (which Guillermo pointed out to me yesterday)...
I don't write. I may be good at it, but I don't do it. So even if she grades the hell out of everything that I turn in and I read every word ever written by the suggested authors, it means nothing if I don't write for anything more than an assignment. I mean eventually I will have to write for my job, unless I for some god-awful reason decide to work for Red Robin for the rest of my life, so it will happen. But I am going to make a serious effort now. You all have this on record and can hold me to it, I expect that Guillermo will be the only one to, but still.
That's all for today, but I'll be back, for reals this time.
I am taking a class called Writing for Public Relations. It is a lab format, so in it we are given a writing assignment, write it, and turn it in. A very simple process I would and do say. But apparently, I am better than I thought I was at it. On Wednesday in this class, after the assigning of the assignment, my professor came over to me and told me that in the next few assignments she wants me to "really branch out, and have fun" with them. Her reasoning is that she thinks that I am a very talented writer, and can take the assignments further. Later I raised my hand because in one of the assignments that she had given back, because she had underlined "was established" and I was pretty sure that it wasn't the name of a book, so I was confused. She came over, and informed that it was passive voice, not really appropriate for the "fact sheet" that it was in. She then informed me that it wasn't a big deal, but because of my new found talent she has decided to grade me harder to help me(to help my writing, not my grade). And even later in the class, she came back to me and asked, "Do you read a lot?" I wasn't sure if she was referring to the textbook that I am supposed to be reading and am not, or if she wanted to know if in general I am literate and occasionally like to indulge myself in my reading abilities as to not squander them. But the point of her question was if I enjoy reading on the side, and because I do, and told her this, she listed off a few authors and books that she wanted me to skim, again in attempt to help my talent.
Now to the point of this whole story (which Guillermo pointed out to me yesterday)...
I don't write. I may be good at it, but I don't do it. So even if she grades the hell out of everything that I turn in and I read every word ever written by the suggested authors, it means nothing if I don't write for anything more than an assignment. I mean eventually I will have to write for my job, unless I for some god-awful reason decide to work for Red Robin for the rest of my life, so it will happen. But I am going to make a serious effort now. You all have this on record and can hold me to it, I expect that Guillermo will be the only one to, but still.
That's all for today, but I'll be back, for reals this time.
Monday, August 16
Your instructions for the day:
http://www.softpile.com/Games/Strategy_and_War/Review_09278_index.html
Go to that site.
Download the game (Pocket Tanks(and the free version is just as cool)).
Play and enjoy the splendor of its coolness.
http://www.softpile.com/Games/Strategy_and_War/Review_09278_index.html
Go to that site.
Download the game (Pocket Tanks(and the free version is just as cool)).
Play and enjoy the splendor of its coolness.
Friday, July 30
Thursday, July 29
I keep telling myself that I'll be better about writing frequently, every time I post I do this. But to no avail, as weeks pass between posts. I think that part of it is that I don't have my commenting system back up yet, so I can't eagerly await your feedback. I will work on that. If you know how to fix it, please tell me: jess.elliott@gmail.com, it would be appreciated. The directions on HaloScan aren't very helpful.
We played volleyball tonight, it was nice to play again. But both Joey and I noticed that it wasn't our A game of the past, due mainly to the fact that we no longer play weekly. I'm down to start playing again...
I'm off to Mexico again this week for more of what some call "slave labor", I call it helping someone out. By this time next week a family will be moving into their new home, and I am ecstatic to be a part of that. A lot of people ask me why I go, every year, now twice a year. I spend a week of my summer, in the sun, sleeping on the hard ground, in a tent, not near trees or anything aesthetically pleasing, and all day long I spend sweating and working hard. My answer is that these people need someone to do it, they need a lot of someones, and if I couldn't pass on a little of what has been given to me, and what I have worked for, I would only have one question. How selfish am I?
So maybe I am volunteering for slave labor, but it's important to me, and it's important to the people who we help. I guess it's hard to explain, but the entire trip is worth it for one single moment, and that moment is there every time. I usually have a little tighter of a bond with the family, because I speak Spanish, and can communicate with them. On our last day there, we present the keys to them, and usually the leader on our site says a few words. Without fail, every trip during that time, it doesn't matter what language we speak, the family looks deep into my eyes with more graciousness than you'll ever see at the Academy Awards. It is a "thank you" that doesn't even need to be spoken, even though it is, repeatedly, it is a "thank you" that is felt. And I go back just to feel that one more time.
Friday, July 9
This test care of the darling Meg
Embarrassing isn't it? (I feel like a dissappointment to Joey)
Embarrassing isn't it? (I feel like a dissappointment to Joey)
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Thursday, July 1
Tuesday, June 8
I'm reading All the King's Men and it is pretty good so far, I'm digging it. Every once in a while amidst the dialect that would be best called ignorance, a moment of genius falls out of the sky (or the narrator, either one).
Example:
"The end of man is knowledge, but there is one thing he can't know. He can't know whether knowledge will save him or kill him. He will be killed, all right, but he can't know whether he is killed because of the knowledge which he has got or because of the knowledge which he hasn't got and which if he had it, would save him."
Chew on that for a bit.
Example:
"The end of man is knowledge, but there is one thing he can't know. He can't know whether knowledge will save him or kill him. He will be killed, all right, but he can't know whether he is killed because of the knowledge which he has got or because of the knowledge which he hasn't got and which if he had it, would save him."
Chew on that for a bit.
Friday, June 4
I'm back, with many things to tell you all, and questions that I have raised, but I shall not share them all with you now, it would overwhelm you. But I will give you one short one:
Does hay grow? If not, how does it happen?
Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com
Does hay grow? If not, how does it happen?
| J | Juicy |
| E | Extreme |
| S | Sweet |
| S | Shiny |
| I | Innocent |
| C | Crazy |
| A | Appreciative |
Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com
Wednesday, May 26
So I wrote a totally cool, super-awesome, insightful, inspirational, etc. post and when I went to publish it, it disappeared. I am tired, so I am not going to re-write it. So this post is my tribute to the greatest post ever (note: this post is not the greatest post ever, but a tribute to it).
adieu
adieu
Friday, May 7
You might think that I have fallen off of the face of the earth, that's right, the non-spherical earth.
Well, I did. But luckily we have been playing so much Worms 3-D that I have become proficient with the ninja-rope, and was able to end my fall in one Spiderman-esque swoop. It was a sight to see.
Anyway, I'm back - but don't call it a comeback, I've been here for years.
Word.
Well, I did. But luckily we have been playing so much Worms 3-D that I have become proficient with the ninja-rope, and was able to end my fall in one Spiderman-esque swoop. It was a sight to see.
Anyway, I'm back - but don't call it a comeback, I've been here for years.
Word.
Monday, April 12
Well, it's been quite a while. Did you miss me? I didn't think so.
I am extremely tired. I don't say that as an apology to my post, but as a precautionary statement. Ususally at this break in the day, I would be snuggled in my bed at home, by the window, with the sun creeping in, tip-toeing across my covers. But I'm not. I am sitting in the computing commons writing for you people. Mainly because my bed at home is 15 miles away, and it is much less conceivable to get an adequate nap in with that kind of travel parameters. Anyway, I don't have class for another hour and 2 minutes, so I thought that I would write.
On a sad note, "Weird" Al Yankovic's parents were found dead. As Brian and Guillermo and I discussed, if our parents were found dead, would it make front page? Or the ASU paper? An interesting ponderance, maybe Joey knows the answer...
I keep looking down at my newly injured "bulbous" wrist and it makes me sad. It looks like I have an abusive boyfriend, but don't worry folks, he doesn't beat me, he doesn't even exist. I was informed by a classmate today that it just looks like I had handcuffs on ...
The ellipsis seems to be my friend today... and forever... okay just today... now I've abused it and my powers of ellipsis should be revoked..
Dammit, I didn't mean for reals, I was totally talking in "for fakes".
There is a high possibility that I'm crazy. I think that the previous entry has not helped to disprove that notion. On that note, I think that I'll quit while I'm ahead, or at least not get any farther behind.
I am extremely tired. I don't say that as an apology to my post, but as a precautionary statement. Ususally at this break in the day, I would be snuggled in my bed at home, by the window, with the sun creeping in, tip-toeing across my covers. But I'm not. I am sitting in the computing commons writing for you people. Mainly because my bed at home is 15 miles away, and it is much less conceivable to get an adequate nap in with that kind of travel parameters. Anyway, I don't have class for another hour and 2 minutes, so I thought that I would write.
On a sad note, "Weird" Al Yankovic's parents were found dead. As Brian and Guillermo and I discussed, if our parents were found dead, would it make front page? Or the ASU paper? An interesting ponderance, maybe Joey knows the answer...
I keep looking down at my newly injured "bulbous" wrist and it makes me sad. It looks like I have an abusive boyfriend, but don't worry folks, he doesn't beat me, he doesn't even exist. I was informed by a classmate today that it just looks like I had handcuffs on ...
The ellipsis seems to be my friend today... and forever... okay just today... now I've abused it and my powers of ellipsis should be revoked..
Dammit, I didn't mean for reals, I was totally talking in "for fakes".
There is a high possibility that I'm crazy. I think that the previous entry has not helped to disprove that notion. On that note, I think that I'll quit while I'm ahead, or at least not get any farther behind.
Monday, April 5
I was making the trek home from school today, frustrated due to my spanish class, and just in a generally crabby mood. As I made the curve of the US-60 connection to I-10, I had a scary little thought. I thought to myself about what would happen if I were to not turn, and just hit the wall. The physics of it, the aftermath, etc.
Then I just continued turning.
Then I just continued turning.
Saturday, April 3
It's been a while.
Maybe I've been too busy to write. Or maybe too busy to think. OR MAYBE a little of both.
But most likely, the thoughts that I have been able to pencil into my schedule are not necessarily appropriate for public forum.
I miss my peeps though. I was quite happy to see Josh when he was in town. But very saddened that he had been here for two days before I serendipitously found him. Saddened by the opportunity cost of not seeing him, but even more saddened, and somewhat hurt, by the fact that no one informed me of his presence. As I was in the moving process I haven't been absent to the board, so I do not blame Josh, completely at least. I guess that coupled with the fact that I haven't really seen anyone outside of volleyball and Jon's produced an even more saddening (How many times can you find this word in this entry? Guess correctly and win a prize!) effect.
Maybe I've been too busy to write. Or maybe too busy to think. OR MAYBE a little of both.
But most likely, the thoughts that I have been able to pencil into my schedule are not necessarily appropriate for public forum.
I miss my peeps though. I was quite happy to see Josh when he was in town. But very saddened that he had been here for two days before I serendipitously found him. Saddened by the opportunity cost of not seeing him, but even more saddened, and somewhat hurt, by the fact that no one informed me of his presence. As I was in the moving process I haven't been absent to the board, so I do not blame Josh, completely at least. I guess that coupled with the fact that I haven't really seen anyone outside of volleyball and Jon's produced an even more saddening (How many times can you find this word in this entry? Guess correctly and win a prize!) effect.
Wednesday, March 24
Monday, March 22
i was talking to a friend of mine, and he brought up a piece that i wrote. he still has a copy of it because he likes it, so i thought that i would post it. if you don't like it, well that sucks for you, having wasted your time and all...
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As I was born, and I as I will die, I am alone.
When you're sad, it seems that the stars don't shine as brightly, time doesn't pass as quickly, roses don't smell as pretty, the clouds aren't as graceful, colors aren't as intense, and you feel all of this alone, no matter what. You are surrounded by people but you're all alone, because the stars don't sparkle in your heart, your heart is alone, and will be, until something is powerful enough to spark a change.
I might not know much in life, in fact, I know that I don't. If I know one thing, I know that I don't know much. This world is circling around me, well not me, some axis in the universe, and I am just one small weak being on it. In the scheme of things, I'm nothing. I am nothing, you are nothing, we are nothing. Life is a process of learning, always learning. Learning to what end? There is no end.
We learn that we are born, we learn that we will die, and we learn how to live in between. Everyone chooses a different way to live, and that's their own perrogative. Who am I to try and influence that decision, I'm nothing, remember? So why do I try? I think that it's an infinite search for meaning, if I can have an impact on someone else, then I have a reason that I'm here, if I can impact someone, maybe I'm not nothing, maybe I'm something.
From the moment that we are born, we are dying. Living is a process of dying. A little depressing isn't it? The only thing that is ever guaranteed in life is death. Everything else is a creation of our own power. We fabricate and cause the situations that happen in our lives. Everything is our own fault. All that I do is my choice, and my fault, I deserve what I get, whether positive or negative. I make my choices, and I accept my consequences, however unwilling I may be.
Though I may not be able to change someone else, I can observe. Observing other people is interesting. I have this craving to see how people think, what makes them tick, how can I figure this out as to other people, when I can't even figure out myself? As humans we always seem to be in a constant search for meaning. Who knows what the key to life is? I don't think that there is one single solution, how can there be, everybody is different, so how could one thing work for everyone? It can't, there is no miracle solution to life. What is life?
Merriam-Webster's dictionary:
life:1 a : the quality that distinguishes a vital and functional being from a dead body b : a principle or force that is considered to underlie the distinctive quality of animate beings; an organismic state characterized by capacity for metabolism, growth, reaction to stimuli, and reproduction
2 a : the sequence of physical and mental experiences that make up the existence of an individual b : one or more aspects of the process of living [sex life of the frog]
4: spiritual existence transcending physical death
5 a : the period from birth to death b : a specific phase of earthly existence [adult life] c : the period from an event until death [a judge appointed for life] d : a sentence of imprisonment for the remainder of a convict's life
6 : a way or manner of living
8 : a vital or living being; [many lives were lost in the disaster]
9 : an animating and shaping force or principle
10 : spirit [there was no life in her dancing]
11 : the form or pattern of something existing in reality [painted from life]
12 : the period of duration, usefulness, or popularity of something [the expected life of flashlight batteries]
13 : the period of existence (as of a subatomic particle)
14 : a property (as resilience or elasticity) of an inanimate substance or object resembling the animate quality of a living being
15 : living beings (as of a particular kind or environment) [forest life]
16 a : human activities b : animate activity and movement [stirrings of life] c : the activities of a given sphere, area, or time [the political life of the country]
17 : one providing interest and vigor [life of the party]
How can one word mean so many things? For the point of my mental state, I am using definition number 5a, the period from birth to death. We are all given life, form whom or what, I couldn't tell you, all I know is that it was given to us. And what do we do with our lives? We relate. In everything that we do and do not do, we relate to people, animals, even inanimate object, we relate. All life is is interactions with these beings and objects. And how do we choose to do this? I can only answer that question for myself.
I try to please everyone, to make everyone happy. I try to make all the people that surround me happy, with their lives, and with me, but I don't put the same effort towards myself. Always tring to cheer people up, making sure that they aren't sad, that's what I do. But in this process, do I lose myself? I think that I do. I think that trying to cater to everyone's needs, I forget who I am, what I am, whatever that may be. Always a smile on my face. That's me. But there isn't always a smile on the inside.
To please everyone else, my friends as well as strangers, I put on this front, a person that I'm not. I don't have to live with these people for as long as I live, but I can't get rid of me. I won't go away, so why compromise myself to spare them? Because I am so afraid of hurting someone's feelings. I'll take it for the team, I'd rather see myself hurt than anyone else. At least with me I can pretend that it doesn't bother me. I can push my feelings to the corner of my heart, and ignore them. But they don't stay there.
Feelings and emotions come out through art, through music, through theater, through painting, through dance, through photography, through writing. All things that will be judged by other people. Which is why I am so afraid to express emotion, I don't want to be judged, I don't want people to pick apart my creation. Everything that I do is entirely mine, I put my heart and soul, my passion into what I do, and am happy with the end result. Why should I let someone take that away from me? Yes, I'm proud of what I do, I have confidence in what I do, that is until I let someone else in on my secret. When they see what I choose ot spend my time, my life doing, I have opened up to them. I just put my feelings in the air for them to be shot down, as they usually are.
People can be so cruel. I wonder sometimes if they realize how much effect, impact that they can have on other people. All it takes is one negative comment to ruin something forever. Every creation is sacred, to someone, and that negative thought kills it, the creation is dead, the idea is dead, the joy is dead, the hope is dead.
It hurts, when my hope, my vitality, is stripped from me. But in the end, I learned something. Life is learning, and so though I failed, I succeeded. I learned not to share myself with other people, because if I keep to myself, they can not hurt me, nor my hope. I can keep my hope, and my confidence, my creation, it's mine, and forever will be. But I then am alone, I am the only one that can partake of my creation. As I was born, and I as I will die, I am alone.
I feel like I am in a wide open field, that is surrounded by trees and mountains that I can never reach. There is a river, and flowers, the most beautiful flowers that anyone could imagine, at night the stars shine like wonderous flames in the sky, during the day the clouds dance above my head, everything is in vivid colors, brighter than fathomable, and the sun beats down with gloriously warm rays on my skin. I am happy. And then, I am alone, and everything changes. The light fades in my eyes and my heart, and I am lost. Where do I go from here? Now I am still, alone in the darkness, vulnerable to everything. All I have is my thoughts, myself, that's all that I will ever have, no matter what I try to achieve.
In all my life, everything I do will be destroyed. In the end all that I will have is me, and yet, I don't take care of myself, and my feelings. I spend my time and energy worrying about everybody else and their feelings. I can't change them, the change I would have in mind probably isn't right anyhow, I'm probably not right anyhow. But I can't make an impact on others, I can't change things, I am nothing, and can do nothing more than me, which is what I'm afraid of.
So I will not share what or who I am, for I will be destroyed, crushed by those who don't agree with me. Those who don't understand me will try to tear me apart at the seams. It will work, I will be sad, in the darkness, alone. My heart and soul be still, I will be alone forever.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
As I was born, and I as I will die, I am alone.
When you're sad, it seems that the stars don't shine as brightly, time doesn't pass as quickly, roses don't smell as pretty, the clouds aren't as graceful, colors aren't as intense, and you feel all of this alone, no matter what. You are surrounded by people but you're all alone, because the stars don't sparkle in your heart, your heart is alone, and will be, until something is powerful enough to spark a change.
I might not know much in life, in fact, I know that I don't. If I know one thing, I know that I don't know much. This world is circling around me, well not me, some axis in the universe, and I am just one small weak being on it. In the scheme of things, I'm nothing. I am nothing, you are nothing, we are nothing. Life is a process of learning, always learning. Learning to what end? There is no end.
We learn that we are born, we learn that we will die, and we learn how to live in between. Everyone chooses a different way to live, and that's their own perrogative. Who am I to try and influence that decision, I'm nothing, remember? So why do I try? I think that it's an infinite search for meaning, if I can have an impact on someone else, then I have a reason that I'm here, if I can impact someone, maybe I'm not nothing, maybe I'm something.
From the moment that we are born, we are dying. Living is a process of dying. A little depressing isn't it? The only thing that is ever guaranteed in life is death. Everything else is a creation of our own power. We fabricate and cause the situations that happen in our lives. Everything is our own fault. All that I do is my choice, and my fault, I deserve what I get, whether positive or negative. I make my choices, and I accept my consequences, however unwilling I may be.
Though I may not be able to change someone else, I can observe. Observing other people is interesting. I have this craving to see how people think, what makes them tick, how can I figure this out as to other people, when I can't even figure out myself? As humans we always seem to be in a constant search for meaning. Who knows what the key to life is? I don't think that there is one single solution, how can there be, everybody is different, so how could one thing work for everyone? It can't, there is no miracle solution to life. What is life?
Merriam-Webster's dictionary:
life:1 a : the quality that distinguishes a vital and functional being from a dead body b : a principle or force that is considered to underlie the distinctive quality of animate beings; an organismic state characterized by capacity for metabolism, growth, reaction to stimuli, and reproduction
2 a : the sequence of physical and mental experiences that make up the existence of an individual b : one or more aspects of the process of living [sex life of the frog]
4: spiritual existence transcending physical death
5 a : the period from birth to death b : a specific phase of earthly existence [adult life] c : the period from an event until death [a judge appointed for life] d : a sentence of imprisonment for the remainder of a convict's life
6 : a way or manner of living
8 : a vital or living being; [many lives were lost in the disaster]
9 : an animating and shaping force or principle
10 : spirit [there was no life in her dancing]
11 : the form or pattern of something existing in reality [painted from life]
12 : the period of duration, usefulness, or popularity of something [the expected life of flashlight batteries]
13 : the period of existence (as of a subatomic particle)
14 : a property (as resilience or elasticity) of an inanimate substance or object resembling the animate quality of a living being
15 : living beings (as of a particular kind or environment) [forest life]
16 a : human activities b : animate activity and movement [stirrings of life] c : the activities of a given sphere, area, or time [the political life of the country]
17 : one providing interest and vigor [life of the party]
How can one word mean so many things? For the point of my mental state, I am using definition number 5a, the period from birth to death. We are all given life, form whom or what, I couldn't tell you, all I know is that it was given to us. And what do we do with our lives? We relate. In everything that we do and do not do, we relate to people, animals, even inanimate object, we relate. All life is is interactions with these beings and objects. And how do we choose to do this? I can only answer that question for myself.
I try to please everyone, to make everyone happy. I try to make all the people that surround me happy, with their lives, and with me, but I don't put the same effort towards myself. Always tring to cheer people up, making sure that they aren't sad, that's what I do. But in this process, do I lose myself? I think that I do. I think that trying to cater to everyone's needs, I forget who I am, what I am, whatever that may be. Always a smile on my face. That's me. But there isn't always a smile on the inside.
To please everyone else, my friends as well as strangers, I put on this front, a person that I'm not. I don't have to live with these people for as long as I live, but I can't get rid of me. I won't go away, so why compromise myself to spare them? Because I am so afraid of hurting someone's feelings. I'll take it for the team, I'd rather see myself hurt than anyone else. At least with me I can pretend that it doesn't bother me. I can push my feelings to the corner of my heart, and ignore them. But they don't stay there.
Feelings and emotions come out through art, through music, through theater, through painting, through dance, through photography, through writing. All things that will be judged by other people. Which is why I am so afraid to express emotion, I don't want to be judged, I don't want people to pick apart my creation. Everything that I do is entirely mine, I put my heart and soul, my passion into what I do, and am happy with the end result. Why should I let someone take that away from me? Yes, I'm proud of what I do, I have confidence in what I do, that is until I let someone else in on my secret. When they see what I choose ot spend my time, my life doing, I have opened up to them. I just put my feelings in the air for them to be shot down, as they usually are.
People can be so cruel. I wonder sometimes if they realize how much effect, impact that they can have on other people. All it takes is one negative comment to ruin something forever. Every creation is sacred, to someone, and that negative thought kills it, the creation is dead, the idea is dead, the joy is dead, the hope is dead.
It hurts, when my hope, my vitality, is stripped from me. But in the end, I learned something. Life is learning, and so though I failed, I succeeded. I learned not to share myself with other people, because if I keep to myself, they can not hurt me, nor my hope. I can keep my hope, and my confidence, my creation, it's mine, and forever will be. But I then am alone, I am the only one that can partake of my creation. As I was born, and I as I will die, I am alone.
I feel like I am in a wide open field, that is surrounded by trees and mountains that I can never reach. There is a river, and flowers, the most beautiful flowers that anyone could imagine, at night the stars shine like wonderous flames in the sky, during the day the clouds dance above my head, everything is in vivid colors, brighter than fathomable, and the sun beats down with gloriously warm rays on my skin. I am happy. And then, I am alone, and everything changes. The light fades in my eyes and my heart, and I am lost. Where do I go from here? Now I am still, alone in the darkness, vulnerable to everything. All I have is my thoughts, myself, that's all that I will ever have, no matter what I try to achieve.
In all my life, everything I do will be destroyed. In the end all that I will have is me, and yet, I don't take care of myself, and my feelings. I spend my time and energy worrying about everybody else and their feelings. I can't change them, the change I would have in mind probably isn't right anyhow, I'm probably not right anyhow. But I can't make an impact on others, I can't change things, I am nothing, and can do nothing more than me, which is what I'm afraid of.
So I will not share what or who I am, for I will be destroyed, crushed by those who don't agree with me. Those who don't understand me will try to tear me apart at the seams. It will work, I will be sad, in the darkness, alone. My heart and soul be still, I will be alone forever.
Sunday, March 21
so i started exploring that website. and i came upon the swear word quiz
your fuck.
What swear word are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
again, pretty fitting.
strange.
your fuck.
What swear word are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
again, pretty fitting.
strange.
i saw this on joey's, so figured that i'd do it. fitting.
you are the cute but psycho happy bunny. You
adorable, but a little out there. It's alright,
you might not have it all, but there are worse
which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
you are the cute but psycho happy bunny. You
adorable, but a little out there. It's alright,
you might not have it all, but there are worse
which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Wednesday, March 17
Back from Mexico. With a boatload of stories. But the most interesting one, begins Saturday...
We go to this club called Baja Cantina. It's $15, all you can drink, and PACKED. This night it was just the girls, so there were 5 of us. We walked around, partied, met people, danced, etc. Mind you it was like a mini high school reunion for anyone who attended high school in AZ. The girls from Prescott ran into their old friends. Crazy. So we start heading out, and I get separated from the group. So I continue to make my way through the crowd, walking in circles, trying to find the girls. This was a fruitless effort because they were walking around the rest of the strip looking for me, at Manny's, Pink Cadillac, etc. So needless to say, I did not find them. Eventually, I figure I should head back to my car, maybe they are there.
When I get back to my car is when I realize that I no longer have my purse. Fuck. It contained my car keys. So luckily, my back hatch was unlocked so I sat down in the back of my truck trying to concoct a plan. I am FREEZING cold at this point, so I am shaking, crying a little (that's what I do when I freak out, cry), and planning. All of the sudden I hear at a distance, "Jessica, there she is." All of the girls at this point had gone back to our condos. One of the Prescott girls, also named Jessica, had one of her friends, who was also looking for his buddy, drive her around to try to find me. He had to continue looking, so the scene now bears two Jessicas, sitting in the back of my truck, scheming. We decide to go back to Baja, to see if a purse had been turned in. The guy in the office said that he saw a purse, red, small, described exactly like mine, but he just didn't know where they had put it. He told me to come back in the morning and the people then would be able to help me better. We took a taxi home.
Sunday...
The girls got up before I did to check on my purse and go get my car. I wake up to Stephanie saying, "Jess, your truck is gone." Ok, I'm up. What do you mean it's gone? Gone? So I got up, and we went back to Baja (for the third time now) to ask about my purse. The guy said it wasn't there, but as we asked him, the two maids in the office looked at each other conspicuously. In my mind, they took it.
Which on a side note, I don't really care too much about my purse or its contents. All I wanted back were my keys, the film in my camera, and the knife that my dad gave me. They can have my money, my camera, my purse (I have plenty), my ID (if that will do them any good). The things that I want back are of the least value, with exception of the knife, to whoever got them. Back to Sunday.
So we leave Baja, and drive over to where my truck was parked to see if maybe the owner of the property had had it towed. He was an American, painting a door, and a real nice fellow. He said it wasn't him, but we should go to the police station, whether it was towed or stolen, and directed us there. So we go to the police station. arriving at 11:00 a.m. It was pretty cool because we got to hear all of these stories from people bailing their friends out. But I go in and talk to the first guy who I need to speak with. He asked me if I had a '98 white Jeep Cherokee. I said it was a '99, but yeah. Well, apparently what happened was someone came to the police making a claim of a hit and run by a white Cherokee with AZ plates. Which obviously is mine, because I own the only car of such description. Assuming that I was the responsible party, my truck was impounded. At about 3:30 they finally were writing out my papers to get my truck out of the impound. The "judge" looked up at me and said (in Spanish), that'll be $50. $50, for what? Because you assumed incorrectly and wasted my day? Hell no. I told her that I did nothing wrong, so there is no reason that I should pay $50.
This caused one of the many little spats between Steph and I, because as I came out of the "judge's" office to go talk to the other guy about not paying, she asked what was going on. I told her that they wanted me to pay, and I had to go talk to the first guy. She said, "Jessica, it's an impound fee, just pay it." My response was, "Steph, I didn't do anything wrong, their system is fucked up, and I am not going to contribute to it." She was getting ancy because we all had been there so long. "How long is it going to take?" "I don't know, but I'm not going to be a part of their corruption. No one is keeping you here. If you don't want to wait, go." And I walked away.
I went and found the first man. He came back to the judge's office, and I told him that I didn't understand why I would have to pay, I hadn't wronged anyone. He said I did not have to pay. So they gave me my papers to go to the impound to get my registration to come back and get my papers to go to the impound and get my car. Whew, 4 and 1/2 hours later, we have gotten a piece of paper.
Now here comes the next problem. My purse is gone, my keys are gone. So we have to find a locksmith. But there are no phones ANYwhere. Seriously. We dropped Steph and two of the triplets off back at the condo, so they wouldn't have to deal with it. And so Steph and I wouldn't leave hating each other. So Bridget and I continued on our adventure for a locksmith. Everyone knew where one was, and sent us all around town. They were all closed, but had a phone number available. Too bad we couldn't call them. So we ended up at Cyndi's Beach House Rentals, and I asked the guys at the counter for any direction they could give us. They were WAY nice. They took the number from us and offered to call the guys for us, so I wouldn't have to be worried about my Spanish. The locksmith comes, we get my car, we get back to the condos, and it is 7:00 p.m.
Did I mention that I was dehydrated the whole day? So as soon as we got back, I found myself bolting in to the restroom, to relieve myself. I hate throwing up. But I did feel better, so I suppose that it was for the best.
In summary, I refused to pay for their fucked up system, and I came out on top. I have had my fill of Mexico for a while.
We go to this club called Baja Cantina. It's $15, all you can drink, and PACKED. This night it was just the girls, so there were 5 of us. We walked around, partied, met people, danced, etc. Mind you it was like a mini high school reunion for anyone who attended high school in AZ. The girls from Prescott ran into their old friends. Crazy. So we start heading out, and I get separated from the group. So I continue to make my way through the crowd, walking in circles, trying to find the girls. This was a fruitless effort because they were walking around the rest of the strip looking for me, at Manny's, Pink Cadillac, etc. So needless to say, I did not find them. Eventually, I figure I should head back to my car, maybe they are there.
When I get back to my car is when I realize that I no longer have my purse. Fuck. It contained my car keys. So luckily, my back hatch was unlocked so I sat down in the back of my truck trying to concoct a plan. I am FREEZING cold at this point, so I am shaking, crying a little (that's what I do when I freak out, cry), and planning. All of the sudden I hear at a distance, "Jessica, there she is." All of the girls at this point had gone back to our condos. One of the Prescott girls, also named Jessica, had one of her friends, who was also looking for his buddy, drive her around to try to find me. He had to continue looking, so the scene now bears two Jessicas, sitting in the back of my truck, scheming. We decide to go back to Baja, to see if a purse had been turned in. The guy in the office said that he saw a purse, red, small, described exactly like mine, but he just didn't know where they had put it. He told me to come back in the morning and the people then would be able to help me better. We took a taxi home.
Sunday...
The girls got up before I did to check on my purse and go get my car. I wake up to Stephanie saying, "Jess, your truck is gone." Ok, I'm up. What do you mean it's gone? Gone? So I got up, and we went back to Baja (for the third time now) to ask about my purse. The guy said it wasn't there, but as we asked him, the two maids in the office looked at each other conspicuously. In my mind, they took it.
Which on a side note, I don't really care too much about my purse or its contents. All I wanted back were my keys, the film in my camera, and the knife that my dad gave me. They can have my money, my camera, my purse (I have plenty), my ID (if that will do them any good). The things that I want back are of the least value, with exception of the knife, to whoever got them. Back to Sunday.
So we leave Baja, and drive over to where my truck was parked to see if maybe the owner of the property had had it towed. He was an American, painting a door, and a real nice fellow. He said it wasn't him, but we should go to the police station, whether it was towed or stolen, and directed us there. So we go to the police station. arriving at 11:00 a.m. It was pretty cool because we got to hear all of these stories from people bailing their friends out. But I go in and talk to the first guy who I need to speak with. He asked me if I had a '98 white Jeep Cherokee. I said it was a '99, but yeah. Well, apparently what happened was someone came to the police making a claim of a hit and run by a white Cherokee with AZ plates. Which obviously is mine, because I own the only car of such description. Assuming that I was the responsible party, my truck was impounded. At about 3:30 they finally were writing out my papers to get my truck out of the impound. The "judge" looked up at me and said (in Spanish), that'll be $50. $50, for what? Because you assumed incorrectly and wasted my day? Hell no. I told her that I did nothing wrong, so there is no reason that I should pay $50.
This caused one of the many little spats between Steph and I, because as I came out of the "judge's" office to go talk to the other guy about not paying, she asked what was going on. I told her that they wanted me to pay, and I had to go talk to the first guy. She said, "Jessica, it's an impound fee, just pay it." My response was, "Steph, I didn't do anything wrong, their system is fucked up, and I am not going to contribute to it." She was getting ancy because we all had been there so long. "How long is it going to take?" "I don't know, but I'm not going to be a part of their corruption. No one is keeping you here. If you don't want to wait, go." And I walked away.
I went and found the first man. He came back to the judge's office, and I told him that I didn't understand why I would have to pay, I hadn't wronged anyone. He said I did not have to pay. So they gave me my papers to go to the impound to get my registration to come back and get my papers to go to the impound and get my car. Whew, 4 and 1/2 hours later, we have gotten a piece of paper.
Now here comes the next problem. My purse is gone, my keys are gone. So we have to find a locksmith. But there are no phones ANYwhere. Seriously. We dropped Steph and two of the triplets off back at the condo, so they wouldn't have to deal with it. And so Steph and I wouldn't leave hating each other. So Bridget and I continued on our adventure for a locksmith. Everyone knew where one was, and sent us all around town. They were all closed, but had a phone number available. Too bad we couldn't call them. So we ended up at Cyndi's Beach House Rentals, and I asked the guys at the counter for any direction they could give us. They were WAY nice. They took the number from us and offered to call the guys for us, so I wouldn't have to be worried about my Spanish. The locksmith comes, we get my car, we get back to the condos, and it is 7:00 p.m.
Did I mention that I was dehydrated the whole day? So as soon as we got back, I found myself bolting in to the restroom, to relieve myself. I hate throwing up. But I did feel better, so I suppose that it was for the best.
In summary, I refused to pay for their fucked up system, and I came out on top. I have had my fill of Mexico for a while.
Wednesday, March 10
i had a couple moments today where a certain smell or angle of light remind me of the ol' days. i meant to post about this a week or so ago, when i had a similar experience.
first, back yonder during the storms, i was walking around campus. and it smelled like rain. divine. it reminded me of how back home, when it rained, the next day the ground would be filled with earthworms. we would be all excited and go play with the little creatures. ahhh.
next, on the little creatures note. i was walking between the anthropology and language and literature buildings this morning. the way the sun was coming through the trees, and the smell on the wind, reminded me of catching caterpillars. it was definitely the smell of caterpillar hunting. we would catch them, and put them in old margarine tubs. DON"T FORGET TO PUNCTURE THE TOP, THE CATERPILLARS WILL DIE!
walking home. two apartment complexes west of mine had a sprinkler going on the lawn. we had a play treehouse thing at our last house in illinois. and we would put the sprinkler near it so that we could swing on the rope from the fort part through the water around to the net. the pool was always too cold.
first, back yonder during the storms, i was walking around campus. and it smelled like rain. divine. it reminded me of how back home, when it rained, the next day the ground would be filled with earthworms. we would be all excited and go play with the little creatures. ahhh.
next, on the little creatures note. i was walking between the anthropology and language and literature buildings this morning. the way the sun was coming through the trees, and the smell on the wind, reminded me of catching caterpillars. it was definitely the smell of caterpillar hunting. we would catch them, and put them in old margarine tubs. DON"T FORGET TO PUNCTURE THE TOP, THE CATERPILLARS WILL DIE!
walking home. two apartment complexes west of mine had a sprinkler going on the lawn. we had a play treehouse thing at our last house in illinois. and we would put the sprinkler near it so that we could swing on the rope from the fort part through the water around to the net. the pool was always too cold.
Tuesday, March 9
some of the interesting concepts that i found in machiavelli's "the prince":
"one should never allow chaos to develop in order to avoid going to war"
"the arms of another man either slide off your back, or weigh you down, or tie you up"
"one can generall say this about men: that they are ungrateful, fickle, simulators, and deceivers, avoiders of dangers, greedy for gain;"
"fortune is a woman, and it is necessary, in order to keep her down, to beat her and struggle with her. and it is seen that she more oftern allows herself to be taken over by men who are impetuous than by those who make cold advances; and then, being a woman, she is always the friend of young men for they are less cautious, more aggressive, and they command her with more audacity."
"ingenuity over rage" (this actually part of a quote from petrarch)
"one should never allow chaos to develop in order to avoid going to war"
"the arms of another man either slide off your back, or weigh you down, or tie you up"
"one can generall say this about men: that they are ungrateful, fickle, simulators, and deceivers, avoiders of dangers, greedy for gain;"
"fortune is a woman, and it is necessary, in order to keep her down, to beat her and struggle with her. and it is seen that she more oftern allows herself to be taken over by men who are impetuous than by those who make cold advances; and then, being a woman, she is always the friend of young men for they are less cautious, more aggressive, and they command her with more audacity."
"ingenuity over rage" (this actually part of a quote from petrarch)
Monday, March 8
so do you want another story of me being a dumbass?
of course you do.
funny, how it involves the same spanish class. so my profesor asks me and a few other students to stay after class a few minutes because he hadn't finished grading our tests (for which i missed out on britney) yet, and he wanted us to have them to study for our mid-term (wed.). there was a section on the test in which all of the accents were omitted and we had to add them in where we saw fit. APPPARENTLY we also had to rewrite the paragraph in a different tense (i.e. past, etc.). he asked me where i had done it, and i promptly informed him that i didn't do it. i got told to read the instructions better next time. he then handed me my test and told me that i would have gotten an "A" had i actually completed the test.
damn it. to hell.
so let's rewind the day a little more to my spanish literature class, in which today she handed back our papers that we had to write on a narrative piece of literature. she handed mine back to me after class, and wanted to talk to me about it. APPARENTLY i didn't read through it before i decided that i was done, because as i re-read it with her, it looked like a second grader wrote it. luckily for me there was no grade on my paper. she had wanted to talk to me, because she knows that i am a good student and she said that she wouldn't grade it as is. it was an ego shot, but i'd rather her let me edit it first, and then she grade it. because i sound like a jackass who wrote a paper in my REM sleep.
i'm such an ass.
of course you do.
funny, how it involves the same spanish class. so my profesor asks me and a few other students to stay after class a few minutes because he hadn't finished grading our tests (for which i missed out on britney) yet, and he wanted us to have them to study for our mid-term (wed.). there was a section on the test in which all of the accents were omitted and we had to add them in where we saw fit. APPPARENTLY we also had to rewrite the paragraph in a different tense (i.e. past, etc.). he asked me where i had done it, and i promptly informed him that i didn't do it. i got told to read the instructions better next time. he then handed me my test and told me that i would have gotten an "A" had i actually completed the test.
damn it. to hell.
so let's rewind the day a little more to my spanish literature class, in which today she handed back our papers that we had to write on a narrative piece of literature. she handed mine back to me after class, and wanted to talk to me about it. APPARENTLY i didn't read through it before i decided that i was done, because as i re-read it with her, it looked like a second grader wrote it. luckily for me there was no grade on my paper. she had wanted to talk to me, because she knows that i am a good student and she said that she wouldn't grade it as is. it was an ego shot, but i'd rather her let me edit it first, and then she grade it. because i sound like a jackass who wrote a paper in my REM sleep.
i'm such an ass.
Friday, March 5
i'm sick of this feeling.
the worst part about it is that it is self inflicted. i think that i finally know that i am going to do something about it. maybei need to ask for help, but i wont. because i don't want you to look at me like that. but i am sick of looking at me like this.
this is a turning point for me in which i need what i will refer to as "santa claus support". support without knowing what is really wrong. support without question.
wait, isn't that friendship? well, i guess that's what i'm going to need, a big bucket of friendship.
the worst part about it is that it is self inflicted. i think that i finally know that i am going to do something about it. maybei need to ask for help, but i wont. because i don't want you to look at me like that. but i am sick of looking at me like this.
this is a turning point for me in which i need what i will refer to as "santa claus support". support without knowing what is really wrong. support without question.
wait, isn't that friendship? well, i guess that's what i'm going to need, a big bucket of friendship.
Wednesday, March 3
let's talk about doing things that make you want to kick your own ass. or in my case, my own ass. you get it.
anyways, i have of late had a little trouble making it to my last class, spanish composition at 6:40. you may be wondering what the problem is, last class? no. spanish? no. composition? no. this is possibly one of the easiest spanish class i have taken, so what's the problem? 6:40. it's so late, it kills me. so i missed it for two weeks straight (which would be a grand total of 4 classes).
now, i was supposed to go to the britney spears concert tonight with steph (my roommate).
in class on monday night, i realize, shit, i'm in class right now. i'll be in class this time on wednesday. shit.
so now i have disabilitated (is that even a word?) myself from going to said concert. now i could miss class, turning in an assignment, and possibly a quiz. but in the end, would i want to have failed or been forced to drop a class, and possibly have to take an extra semester to make up for it, for britney? the male readers here might see it differently, but it isn't worth it to me. had i not been a retard for the past two weeks, and gone to class, i would have either (a.) been able to miss, or (b.) realized the conflict and not had to tell steph last night.
i piss myself off.
anyways, i have of late had a little trouble making it to my last class, spanish composition at 6:40. you may be wondering what the problem is, last class? no. spanish? no. composition? no. this is possibly one of the easiest spanish class i have taken, so what's the problem? 6:40. it's so late, it kills me. so i missed it for two weeks straight (which would be a grand total of 4 classes).
now, i was supposed to go to the britney spears concert tonight with steph (my roommate).
in class on monday night, i realize, shit, i'm in class right now. i'll be in class this time on wednesday. shit.
so now i have disabilitated (is that even a word?) myself from going to said concert. now i could miss class, turning in an assignment, and possibly a quiz. but in the end, would i want to have failed or been forced to drop a class, and possibly have to take an extra semester to make up for it, for britney? the male readers here might see it differently, but it isn't worth it to me. had i not been a retard for the past two weeks, and gone to class, i would have either (a.) been able to miss, or (b.) realized the conflict and not had to tell steph last night.
i piss myself off.
Tuesday, March 2
last time on tales of a traveling gypsy:
"tuesday is my last day. i wouldn't be surprised if i have already mentioned that. but i am excited."
"i looked 'like an ASU girl'."
"find the opportunity."
now back to today's episode *fun jingle song that's like, "hey, jessica's cool, yeah!"*
today is the day. we'll see how that goes and i'm sure i will update on the strange feeling of non-jobness. i'm sorry if you all think that i am dwelling on this, but you have to understand (for those of you who aren't FULLY aware) of the effects that this job has had on my life. i grew up with that crew. a lot of firsts. so there are social and emotional implications that today carry. so quit your bitching. and if you don't like it, don't read it.
one of my many pet peeves is people who complain about things that they get for free. for example, if you do not like the selection of music that a particular radio station plays, why on earth would you call and try to tell them what music to play and how to run their business. a listener doesn't really have any say, YOU GET IT FOR FREE! advertisers might have a little more room in bitching, but either way, the station should not adapt. unless they are playing some crazy music that no one listens to, so therefore no advertisers buy time, so therefore the station flounders. but for those people who call and say shit like, "i listened ALL day and you played FOUR britney spears song, you should play less of her, and more hip-hop," YOU ARE AN ASS. first of all, if you don't agree with their music selection, STOP LISTENING, changing the station is in your power. your radio station is not cosmically predetermined, so shut the fuck up, eat your McDonald's, and try your mightiest to fall off the face of the earth. i'd sure appreciate the effort.
i think that i am an angry person.
"tuesday is my last day. i wouldn't be surprised if i have already mentioned that. but i am excited."
"i looked 'like an ASU girl'."
"find the opportunity."
now back to today's episode *fun jingle song that's like, "hey, jessica's cool, yeah!"*
today is the day. we'll see how that goes and i'm sure i will update on the strange feeling of non-jobness. i'm sorry if you all think that i am dwelling on this, but you have to understand (for those of you who aren't FULLY aware) of the effects that this job has had on my life. i grew up with that crew. a lot of firsts. so there are social and emotional implications that today carry. so quit your bitching. and if you don't like it, don't read it.
one of my many pet peeves is people who complain about things that they get for free. for example, if you do not like the selection of music that a particular radio station plays, why on earth would you call and try to tell them what music to play and how to run their business. a listener doesn't really have any say, YOU GET IT FOR FREE! advertisers might have a little more room in bitching, but either way, the station should not adapt. unless they are playing some crazy music that no one listens to, so therefore no advertisers buy time, so therefore the station flounders. but for those people who call and say shit like, "i listened ALL day and you played FOUR britney spears song, you should play less of her, and more hip-hop," YOU ARE AN ASS. first of all, if you don't agree with their music selection, STOP LISTENING, changing the station is in your power. your radio station is not cosmically predetermined, so shut the fuck up, eat your McDonald's, and try your mightiest to fall off the face of the earth. i'd sure appreciate the effort.
i think that i am an angry person.
Friday, February 27
i built a bookshelf/desk thing yesterday. from scratch. mainly because when i run out of room on the bookshelves, i don't want to worry about finding a bookshelf that matches the full one. but i had fun. by myself, staining and cutting and building. it was good time to contemplate.
tuesday is my last day. i wouldn't be surprised if i have already mentioned that. but i am excited. but i am going to be bored a lot. oh well, i guess i'll have to "read", or something like that.
well, i'm off to who knows where. i'll see y'all on domingo (that's Sunday for the monlinguals among us). ugh, just got the lecture from my mother, [ sigh ] parents.
word.
tuesday is my last day. i wouldn't be surprised if i have already mentioned that. but i am excited. but i am going to be bored a lot. oh well, i guess i'll have to "read", or something like that.
well, i'm off to who knows where. i'll see y'all on domingo (that's Sunday for the monlinguals among us). ugh, just got the lecture from my mother, [ sigh ] parents.
word.
Thursday, February 26
i like the polar ice cap idea nick, i've got a guy on it.
a friend called me last night, lots of times, as Mr. Moore can atest for. to? oh well, back to the point. i told him that i would be there for him if he needed to talk, but i'm nervous that he is going to tell me something that i don't want the responsibility of knowing. again torn. between my word and my nervousness.
either today or tuesday will be my last day at "the Dirty Bird". that is uber-awesome. (that's for you jesse!) but i don't think that i would have had the metaphoric balls to do this without everyone who is here today, you all made it possible, and should pat yourselves on the back. but not while eating, you might cause yourself to choke. in all seriousness though, i think that previously, when i wanted to leave it wasn't the work or anything that kept me there. it was the insecurity of having a real group of friends outside of the fake ones at work. a lot of my "friends" at work will never call me, and i sure as hell wont call them. it will be left to the awkward hello's when i go in to visit the real friends, who i will actually talk to next week, month, etc.
to make a long story less long than it is shaping up to be, thanks guys. you've helped me care less about things that i don't need to. and you've helped me see that, in reference to a lot of things, i am just too goddam nice. i'm glad that none of you have really seen the bitch that red robin brings out in me, you don't deserve it. except maybe joey.
topo.
a friend called me last night, lots of times, as Mr. Moore can atest for. to? oh well, back to the point. i told him that i would be there for him if he needed to talk, but i'm nervous that he is going to tell me something that i don't want the responsibility of knowing. again torn. between my word and my nervousness.
either today or tuesday will be my last day at "the Dirty Bird". that is uber-awesome. (that's for you jesse!) but i don't think that i would have had the metaphoric balls to do this without everyone who is here today, you all made it possible, and should pat yourselves on the back. but not while eating, you might cause yourself to choke. in all seriousness though, i think that previously, when i wanted to leave it wasn't the work or anything that kept me there. it was the insecurity of having a real group of friends outside of the fake ones at work. a lot of my "friends" at work will never call me, and i sure as hell wont call them. it will be left to the awkward hello's when i go in to visit the real friends, who i will actually talk to next week, month, etc.
to make a long story less long than it is shaping up to be, thanks guys. you've helped me care less about things that i don't need to. and you've helped me see that, in reference to a lot of things, i am just too goddam nice. i'm glad that none of you have really seen the bitch that red robin brings out in me, you don't deserve it. except maybe joey.
topo.
Wednesday, February 25
Wednesday, February 11
So the other day I happen to overhear a few girls talking about another gal they know, who just transferred to ASU. And one of these girls says, "I don't know, like, she's just not very ASU. You know how you can, like, look at girls and they just are like, ASU girls or not?" This got me thinking. Am I ASU? Would she be taken aback to find out that I attend ASU, but in fact I'm not "very ASU"? Girls like this make me sad for womankind. Like,seriously.
Tuesday, February 10
"One should never allow chaos to develop in order to avoid going to war."
-Machiavelli, The Prince
much cooler in spanish~
"Si al principio no muestras como eres, If from the start you don't show how you are
no podrias hacerlo cuando tu quiseres." You will not be able to when you want to.
-Don Juan Manuel, Lo que sucedio a un mozo que caso con una mujer de mal caracter
"Si solo en esta vida esperamos en Cristo, somos los mas miserables de los hombres todos."
If we only believe/hope in Christ in this life, we are the most miserable among man.
-San Pablo, Corinitios XV 19
-Machiavelli, The Prince
much cooler in spanish~
"Si al principio no muestras como eres, If from the start you don't show how you are
no podrias hacerlo cuando tu quiseres." You will not be able to when you want to.
-Don Juan Manuel, Lo que sucedio a un mozo que caso con una mujer de mal caracter
"Si solo en esta vida esperamos en Cristo, somos los mas miserables de los hombres todos."
If we only believe/hope in Christ in this life, we are the most miserable among man.
-San Pablo, Corinitios XV 19
Wednesday, February 4
it has been quite an eventful day, or rather i should put it that this week has so far been filled with events that i don't have a tendency to see on a regular basis.
one of the biggest ones is that i quit my job. over three years, and i'm down to just weeks left. it is a strange feeling, but it is something that i need to so. for sanity. or at least for less insanity.
now, not to sound bitter or anything, but the array of valentine's day merchandise is starting to get on my nerves. don't get me wrong, i love the day, the concept. i love (sorry for the blatant usage) the idea of love. but i haven't exactly had a track record for exciting valentine's days, so friends beware, you will be loved on the fourteenth of february, and there isn't a damn thing that you can do about it. ha! i win.
for anyone who did not attend mountain pointe and have mr. barnes as a teacher, he was quite a smart man. he talked about a concept that he calls "academic learned helplessness" in which the instigator of the situation is helpless to the situation. not because they are incapable or retarded, but they have, by practice, learned that being helpless bodes best for accomplishing what they want/need. anyway, it irritates me. if people spent half the time that they spend complaining about a problem fixing that problem, they would do a lot more, and piss me off a lot less.
end rant ...,
wait for it ...,
wait for it ...,
calm down you impatient bastard ...,
now.
one of the biggest ones is that i quit my job. over three years, and i'm down to just weeks left. it is a strange feeling, but it is something that i need to so. for sanity. or at least for less insanity.
now, not to sound bitter or anything, but the array of valentine's day merchandise is starting to get on my nerves. don't get me wrong, i love the day, the concept. i love (sorry for the blatant usage) the idea of love. but i haven't exactly had a track record for exciting valentine's days, so friends beware, you will be loved on the fourteenth of february, and there isn't a damn thing that you can do about it. ha! i win.
for anyone who did not attend mountain pointe and have mr. barnes as a teacher, he was quite a smart man. he talked about a concept that he calls "academic learned helplessness" in which the instigator of the situation is helpless to the situation. not because they are incapable or retarded, but they have, by practice, learned that being helpless bodes best for accomplishing what they want/need. anyway, it irritates me. if people spent half the time that they spend complaining about a problem fixing that problem, they would do a lot more, and piss me off a lot less.
end rant ...,
wait for it ...,
wait for it ...,
calm down you impatient bastard ...,
now.
Wednesday, January 28
this was written quickly, and in class, so for those of you who understand, or take the time/effort to translate, it, i'm going to call my mistakes poetic license
insegura
en la manera que me hablas
me siento al cielo
y cuando me sonrias
no se si puedo
pierdo dormir
pero no tengo sueno
esta helada afuera
pero no me siento frio
no se como decirte
lo que pienso de ti
no puedo escoger el momento
cuando hablamos hasta la sonrisa
podria mirar el viento
contigo
podria sonar con ojos abiertos
contigo
no he vivido
una amistad como nuestra
el tiempo vuela
y el tiempo alta
quiero que viajemos juntos
y encontrar experiencias nuevas
escribimos nuestros cuentos
con mentes libras
siento comoda en ropa tuyo,
y contigo, comoda en mi piel
nunca podria mentir
ni podria ser infiel
no se como expresar
los imagenes que veo
bailamos en la lluvia
abrazamos en un tornado
aconsejo que no tengas miedo
no se que pasara
pon tu mano en la mia
y que sera, sera
insegura
en la manera que me hablas
me siento al cielo
y cuando me sonrias
no se si puedo
pierdo dormir
pero no tengo sueno
esta helada afuera
pero no me siento frio
no se como decirte
lo que pienso de ti
no puedo escoger el momento
cuando hablamos hasta la sonrisa
podria mirar el viento
contigo
podria sonar con ojos abiertos
contigo
no he vivido
una amistad como nuestra
el tiempo vuela
y el tiempo alta
quiero que viajemos juntos
y encontrar experiencias nuevas
escribimos nuestros cuentos
con mentes libras
siento comoda en ropa tuyo,
y contigo, comoda en mi piel
nunca podria mentir
ni podria ser infiel
no se como expresar
los imagenes que veo
bailamos en la lluvia
abrazamos en un tornado
aconsejo que no tengas miedo
no se que pasara
pon tu mano en la mia
y que sera, sera
So I decided to give in and join the ranks of all the bloggers. Mainly because I have been doing a lot of writing lately. So I figured, ah what the hell, why don't I let some other people share in my intricate nonsense? I couldn't come up with a good reason, and so here I am. I do not apologize for what you do not understand, you should be smarter. True story. Also, I do not apologize for my entries in other languages (most likely spanish, because that's the only other one I know), again, it is your responsibility to be smarter, not mine. I do apologize if I come off as a bitch to you. Unless you deserve it, then no apology for you. Well, that's my prologue, onto the real story. Let me know what you think, whether I care or not.
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